Its not that bad

Yesterday, i think because i clear up with Mr. Z thingy. My mood wasn't very good.
but it was good that he clear up the things between us, so he is the bad guy. instead of me. haha

after that, i also finally. clear up my feelings with Mr. M. hmm... (leading double life isn't easy)
I told Mr. M. that, I am tired. tired that i am always the one who console him. and. point out the fact that, i could not share my feelings or thinking to him. because he will always point out the fact that, i was the one who lead myself into this kind of situation. i can blame no one but me. So.... all the above. i told him and hang up the phone.

He did called back. NOt to say "sorry". but told me that he will be meeting me in the morning for mac breakfast.
Well... this is Him. he will not say sorry. but he will do action in some way to make u happy. and in order for me to fully enjoy his company. I turn off my Hp and decide to be happy the whole day and be me, myself.

Decide to stop playing. and decide to be a teacher. surprising right? haha.

After some thinking and reflection, I know i am a person who like to go the opposite of normal people. can say that, yes, this mindset, bring me lots of injury. i used to think that a stable life can be very boring, and always wish to do out of the norm. but i start to think, who say a stable life can be boring? stable does not = to boring.

so i decide to sent application form for a teacher. though i don't know if i can enter. but at least it is also not a office job. at least i got to walk around. haha.

so, after all... its not that bad.

Claudiy